dont know why...

My whole life, as weird as this sounds. but in school theres groups of people. Ive been friends with every group. Friends with the nerdy kids, quite ones, the skaters, as much as i hate to say this but "jocks". and ive always been apart of the popular crowd. but the thing is deep down inside im a nerd. I kept secrects of playing video games for money. 10+ hours a day. ive always been scared and thought i would be judged which ive realized over the past couple months is very stupid. im considered a MLG Pro and have won over 5 grand in a year from playing a game on xbox. i flew all the way to california from new york at the age of 16 ad refused to tell anyone. not even my ex girlfriend of 2 years. i dont know why but i was just scared to let people know. when i would hangout with the nerds i wouldnt tell my "cool" friends and looking back its stupid. there was a side of my thats nerdy and quite honestly the "nerdy" kids are some of the coolest people ive met, there very striaght forward genuine nice people. I really dont care anymore what people think of me and i cant believe it took me 18 years to realize this. why hide from what you are or what a part of you is. times when i didnt wanna hangout with my close friends and would rather be with my nerdier friends i wouldnt tell them or i would lie about it. WHY WHY WHY? makes me feel so dumb. but better to realize this now rather then never.