dont know why...

My whole life, as weird as this sounds. but in school theres groups of people. Ive been friends with every group. Friends with the nerdy kids, quite ones, the skaters, as much as i hate to say this but "jocks". and ive always been apart of the popular crowd. but the thing is deep down inside im a nerd. I kept secrects of playing video games for money. 10+ hours a day. ive always been scared and thought i would be judged which ive realized over the past couple months is very stupid. im considered a MLG Pro and have won over 5 grand in a year from playing a game on xbox. i flew all the way to california from new york at the age of 16 ad refused to tell anyone. not even my ex girlfriend of 2 years. i dont know why but i was just scared to let people know. when i would hangout with the nerds i wouldnt tell my "cool" friends and looking back its stupid. there was a side of my thats nerdy and quite honestly the "nerdy" kids are some of the coolest people ive met, there very striaght forward genuine nice people. I really dont care anymore what people think of me and i cant believe it took me 18 years to realize this. why hide from what you are or what a part of you is. times when i didnt wanna hangout with my close friends and would rather be with my nerdier friends i wouldnt tell them or i would lie about it. WHY WHY WHY? makes me feel so dumb. but better to realize this now rather then never.

Reflection.

Since ive been through alot in my life, my friends and usually always said im the best person to come to when it comes to relationships and gf's or problems with someone you like. and i always give some really good advice. but the funny thing is when theres problems in your own life you cant give advice to yourself. After tonight i truly understand that it is easier said then done. Its easy for me to tell people what to do when it comes to there problems but when i have my own i cant seem to find the will power to actually do something about it and do what i say i was gunna do. Girls are my number one weakness. they can make me do anything. 

Love

Love is what keeps the world going round. Alot of people dont know what it is so they cant appreciate it. The whole point of peoples lives and objectives is that no one wants to die alone. you need realtionships. whether its friends or girlfriends. whatever it may be people need to interact and be with someone. I feel that once people find out what true love is they never want to be without it. not necessarily with the same person but share that connection or level of comfort with someone.

Getting started...

I've always thought about making a blog but never really got around to it. But after making some jokes about blogging i decided to make one. I'm Mike, your average American 18 year old kid going through life liking to think i know what im doing but really i don't. on a side note i don't think anybody really does but we like to think we know what were are doing in our lives. thats the scary part. no body really has a fucking clue. but thats the beauty of life. not knowing what's gunna come next or who your gunna meet. Life is not a bunch of roads in which u go pick and go down, it's just one open area where you just wander from place to place until you find somewhere were your comfortable and happy. That last sentence probably made no sense whatssoever but its the only way for now for me to put that. I have alot of random thoughts and words of wisdom that i want to share and get feedback on*.* i've been through alot in life.. Between family fights, serious long term realtionships, played lots of sports, conflicts with friends. and i feel i can relate to alot of people and let them hear my side of situations. I'm all over the place right now and my blog is probably im assuming not your average, neat, and percise one. Just my random thoughts. I'll get better at this and hope to continue blogging throughout the next year or so.

-Mike